I always find it interesting that we have a much higher expectation on others than we do ourselves when it comes to areas of growth and maturity. We expect others to improve in their abilities and overall disposition. “Here is an area that would be good for you to work on”, is our evaluation of the one we are mentoring, giving oversight to or discipling. “You really need to grow in this area to be more effective as a leader” we say in honest observation and encouragement while speaking into someone’s life. After all, we truly do desire the best for them and desire above all things for them to fulfill their God given destiny and know that this “thing” will hinder them from doing so.


We should apply the same lens when we look at our own lives. Self-evaluation leads to self-awareness which is really good but only effective if worked on to bring about change in ourselves. It is one thing to “know and understand” the way I function, something entirely different to take steps to bring about change in the way I function. To deal with the areas in my life that make it a challenge for others to work with me is paramount to my fulfilling my God given destiny.


The next time someone complains to you about someone else’s flaws ask them this question: “What do you complain to others about me?” It will have the potential to do one of two things. 1) If they are prone to gossip, it tends to shut it down or 2) they may just open up and share something that would really be beneficial to you in your growth curve. Either way it is a win – win.


So while it is great to focus on others and their need to grow, even more important for you to focus on yourself to see you change. You have no power to change someone else but when it comes to self, there is nothing that can hold you back or stop you! Unless of course you don’t want to. And then in lies the biggest problem to self-growth.