I recently read the book “Crucial Conversations – Tools for Talking When the Stakes Are High” by Kerry Patterson and Joseph Grenny. Like me, I am sure there have been many times in your life where you have had crucial conversations that you have not handled as best as you would have liked. Here is a personal recommendation for the book, “very helpful!” I have many crucial conversations and I want to learn to handle them more effectively.
While there were many important points and aspects to incorporate in my conversations, probably the one that hit me first and maybe the most impacting was to ask myself the question, “What do I really want?” Humm… The options to that question can be pretty variable;
I want to be right….
- I want to be reconciled….
- I want to win your trust….
- I want to prove you wrong….
- I want to see what you see….
- I need to defend my positon….
- I want to prove my point….
- I want to hear what you are saying….
- I want to learn….
- I want to teach you….
- I just want to argue….
And the list goes on. But determining what you really want helps you to define you actions, your strategies, and your words. If you don’t know what you really want, you will most likely get caught up in the emotions of the moment and later on realize that your responses were exactly that, emotional! I find that question is important in the majority of my conversations, including the ones I have with Father God!